Why do ordinary, respectable men visit prostitutes? These interviews with customers at Australian brothels provide a rare insight into how some men see not just sex, but women
Guy, 52, lawyer
I can assure you this is a damn sight cheaper than wining and dining a woman, like men usually do. I would have to spend hours on all the bullshit you have to talk. This is good value. It’s neat and tidy. You walk out the door and you’re free. Physically, emotionally, in every way.
I probably come here about once a fortnight, just a short visit, you know, in and out. I try to see the same woman each time, mainly because I like her. Sandy has a nice personality. I find her attractive and her reactions are good. She satisfies my sexual needs. I reckon I must have been seeing her for about two and a half years. If she moved parlours, I’d follow her.
I think Sandy enjoys the sex we have, because I always treat her well. But even if she wasn’t enjoying it, it wouldn’t put me off – as long as the reactions were OK, as long as she didn’t start eating an apple or reading a book or something. That would be a bit off-putting. Short of that, I’m not bothered.
When I first decided to go to a prostitute, it was pretty traumatic because you’re supposed to just walk in and get on with it. But as long as the female’s responses are right, then that first anxiety is easy to overcome.
I came to brothels all through my marriage, even when I was having an affair. It wasn’t that I wasn’t being satisfied – I was – but males have an urge. Every now and then I have a need, a craving, for a different female.
Sex doesn’t necessarily mean anything to a male. I mean, it might develop into something, but initially it doesn’t mean anything other than sheer excitement. But I don’t think women understand that.
Angelo, 23, computer programmer
Why am I here? I don’t come here for the conversation, that’s for sure. I walk in, pay my $120 and have a bloody good time. No questions asked. I don’t care who I see or what she looks like as long as she isn’t fat or horrible, and doesn’t stink. She can be old, though not much older than, say, 35.
If I want to have anal intercourse, or something a bit different, I can generally have it here. Seriously, women’s bums are cute. I love them, and occasionally I want to screw them. There’s nothing wrong with that, except not many girls will let you. They’ve got hang-ups about it being dirty, which it isn’t, or that it might hurt.
Here, I know that, within reason, there won’t be any problem. That’s the thing about paying money: you’re the boss. The customer is always right.
The other thing about being here is that the sex is better, and that’s a fact. It’s always better with a whore.
Angelo
The only real problem with being with a whore – and this is a minor one, but I’ll say it – is condoms. They always say you have to wear them. If I have girlfriends who want to use condoms, I say: “No way!” But in these places the girls supply them and it’s the rules.
I’ve got a steady girlfriend at the moment, pretty serious. She’s Greek, so my parents are happy. We’ll probably get married. The only problem is sex. She was a virgin before me and she’s a bit nervous about it and won’t do a lot of things. But then you’d expect that. I would probably be suspicious if she was too eager or knew too much. It’s nice, actually. Deep down, I don’t like the idea of being with used goods.
I don’t get embarrassed about coming here. Never have. My mates know about it; they come too. I don’t tell my girlfriend because it’s different with women. Anyway, it’s none of their business. It’ll be the same when I’m married.
Angelo
Dominic, 39, builder
In a way, I think this helps my marriage. Sometimes my wife doesn’t want to have sex. It could start an argument. But I come here and that’s it – we don’t have an argument.
Edward, 44, truck driver
I’ve been coming to parlours off and on for the past 20 years. I don’t go to a different girl every time. If I have one I like, I stay with her. I don’t know what it is about the girl I usually see here that attracts me. She’s nothing like my wife. She’s younger and smaller, and she does different things without whingeing. My wife won’t do oral sex. She just reckons: “Yuck!” I can see her point there.
Being with these girls does make you feel pretty good as a bloke, as a lover I suppose. It’s just a good feeling, a good physical sexual feeling. And paying for it doesn’t take any of that away. I suppose I do think of myself as a good lover and I reckon that both of us are getting something out of it, not just me. I presume the women here would think that.
Maybe some of them enjoy being with me, maybe some don’t. I don’t know. I think I’d be able to tell if they didn’t. Although I suppose it’s only a job to them, isn’t it? Could make it hard to tell. I’d hope the one I was with would enjoy it. She said she did. If I knew that she didn’t like it, I wouldn’t come back.
Edward
Jack, 70, pensioner
My wife is deceased and I still have some sexual urges, so about once a month I come and see Marnie. She’s a very sweet young lady. I stay for about 20 minutes and spend about $60.
When my wife was alive, that was it for me. There were no other activities. I didn’t look for it.
The sex I have here is fairly ordinary. Nothing kinky – none of the things you read about. I don’t know if Marnie physically enjoys what she does with me. If she enjoys some part of it or a portion of it, then it is more fulfilling for me.
Jack
I also like to talk with her a little. Not a lot; I’m aware that my life is very boring to her, but I’m interested in her and I like to hear how things are for her.
Spiro, 36, public servant
When you get to my age and you’ve been engaged two or three times, you realise it’s a waste of time trying to be with women. It’s cheaper this way. With a wife and kids you have to feed, clean and clothe them. It’s not worth it.
If I have a bit of free time, I come here about once a month – that’s all. I have a different one every time, usually for just half an hour, just normal sex, that’s all, nothing different. That means they give me a back rub, they give me oral sex and then they get on top and they have intercourse with me, and I have a good time.
But now it’s getting like the women here think they can order me around, saying they won’t do it without a condom. That was the final thing for me. Well, they’re not my rules and I’m the only one who can protect me. In the end I found one who will take a little bit more money instead of using a condom. They’ve all got their price.
It might sound crazy, but this is really the only place where I feel I can be a man, the way men are supposed to be, without feeling guilty or that I’m a social misfit.
Liam, 26, banking loans officer
I would see a prostitute about once a month, sometimes more, depending on my own social life, which is pretty dull at the best of times.
This may sound horrible, but I consider sex to be a chore. The pleasure for me is more the back rub, because I can’t do that myself. If I’m sexually frustrated, I can masturbate, it’s no problem. But it’s not all that much fun, is it? I mean, that is a chore, so it’s preferable to be with someone else.
As far as sex goes, I don’t feel I’ve ever satisfied a girlfriend of mine, to be honest. I wouldn’t know anyway, I really wouldn’t. I’m not familiar with biology in any sense.
Some of the prostitutes I’ve been with have enjoyed it, though. I think they have. I hope so. I guess the truth is that women frighten me.
Kevin, 43, business manager
I’m not so much into being beaten or whipped or tied up, as wanting the woman to be the person who calls the shots, so to speak. I am in a relationship where we are equals, even sexually, although I’m the one who has to initiate sex. I don’t know why women are like that, and to be honest, it can be a bit of a drag always having to be the one who seduces.
Here, I know she wants it, because she is dictating the terms. I am the one who is submissive and I have to do what the woman wants. The actual woman – what she looks like or who she is – is not important to me.
I come here about twice a month. It’s part of my secret life. I don’t actually want it to be so covert; I’d like to be able to tell people. I’m not ashamed of what I do here, but I know that they wouldn’t see it as I do. My partner would just freak out. It’s funny, because we’ve had conversations about prostitution in which she has spoken passionately about not judging the women or the men. She lectures in women’s studies and I suppose she is philosophically geared to believing the sex industry should be free to operate. When she goes on about it, it’s on the tip of my tongue to say: “I’m glad you feel like that, because I see a prostitute regularly.” Obviously, I stop myself. I’m aware of the double standards we all live with.
Ian, 30, factory worker
In the past six months, I’ve been separated from my missus and I’ve only had sex three times. Women would think, “So what?” But men need it more. I think it’s just part of nature. If you don’t have sex for a while you sort of blow up.
Ian
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Many of us spend the majority of our days sitting. Did you know that the way you prefer to sit can give others a glimpse into your personality? The way you cross your legs or put your hands in your lap can be very telling. Keep reading to see what your sitting position might be telling others.
Why Some People Spread Out While Sitting
It can sometimes be annoying sitting next to someone who spreads their legs out really wide while they’re sitting
Alex Ware/Unsplash
These people tend to have trouble sitting still or concentrating on one thing at a time. They will likely speak before thinking about what they’re going to say, are easily bored, and love fast-paced environments.
Crossing Your Ankles Can Make You Seem Like Royalty
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One way to look a little more sophisticated while sitting is to cross your ankles. Someone who sits this way comes off as refined, elegant, and down-to-earth.
Since this position is a little more relaxed, it causes both yourself and those around you to feel comfortable. Some may notice that members of the royal family usually sit this way.
Next up is a way to appear open-minded and flexible.
Show Some Flexibility By Sitting Cross-Legged
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There’s a reason why people who practice yoga or meditation choose to sit in the cross-legged sitting position when they’re not practicing. Those who choose this style tend to be more open and carefree.
When people sit cross-legged with their knees out to each side, it can be interpreted as being open-minded and wanting to hear new ideas. Not only is this position physically flexible, but it’s emotionally flexible as well.
The Reason You Rest Your Hands In Your Lap
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Those who sit with their hands resting (not clasped together) in their lap most likely keep to themselves and love to put others first.
They rarely get upset and are able to stay in control of their emotions. Keeping your hands still in your lap could mean you’re humble, unassuming, compassionate, gentle, and easy to be around.
Do You Clutch The Armrests? Here’s Why
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Armrests are there for support, which is why people who clutch them want both physical and emotional support. People who prefer to use the armrests are likely sensitive and want to keep an eye on their surroundings.
They may need some extra comfort and security in their life and the armrests are a symbol of that. Clutching armrests could also mean they are stable, grounded, and reliable.
Where You Choose To Sit Can Be A Clue To Your Personality
Robert Alexander/Getty Images
If you’re given an empty bench, couch, or other seating area, it makes a difference where you sit. People who sit in the middle of these seats tend to be more confident.
Introverted or shy people may choose the side because they don’t want to be surrounded by others. The outgoing people who sit in the middle show that they are bold and can make friends easily.
You Might Be Defensive If You Cross Your Arms
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Someone who usually crosses their arms while they sit may seem unapproachable, but that’s not completely the case. These people are most likely strong, a little defensive, and confident.
They may also feel they need some protection or security and are essentially shielding their body from the rest of the world. Some other personality traits attributed to this sitting position include being thoughtful, serious, and analytical.
Coming up: the unique way creative people tend to sit.
Caregivers Are Usually Kneeling
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It’s not exactly easy to sit in a kneeling position and it usually goes with the qualities of being assertive and helpful.
Caregivers such as parents and grandparents perform the kneeling position frequently, so they can get eye level with their little ones. Also, people who regularly kneel are usually natural-born leaders, witty, and great problem solvers.
If you hold your hands in your lap, here’s what it might mean.
Why You May Clasp Your Hands In Your Lap
Tim Mossholder/Unsplash
Someone who tightly clasps their hands in their lap may come off as anxious, but there’s a lot more behind this sitting position.
It actually signals that someone is very passionate and emotional. People are naturally drawn to these types of individuals because of their high energy and zest for life. They’re also naturally trustworthy, warm, sweet, and funny.
There’s a particular sitting position that symbolizes a lack of comfort and security. Keep reading to find out what it is…
People Who Recline Are Very Observant
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The world can be filled with a lot of external stimuli that can make it overwhelming. If you see someone sitting in a reclined position, it could mean they’re just trying to take it all in.
Recliners tend to be more analytical and would prefer to observe a situation, instead of acting out. These people are also very considerate and would likely be called empaths.
This Sitting Position Is Common In Creative People
Chris Yang/Unsplash
Someone who sits with their knees together and their feet facing towards each other are usually creative and charismatic. They would be considered a Type B personality that loves spontaneity.
While these people can usually find themselves in trouble, they’re quick thinkers who know how to get out of it. This sitting position represents popularity, adventure, and friendliness.
People Who Cross Their Legs Might Be Type A
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If you’ve ever seen someone sitting with their legs crossed with non-stop shaking or bouncing, it could give off the vibe that they have a Type A personality.
This position can be interpreted as being organized, prompt, and reliable. These people tend to stay calm under pressure, always pay attention to detail, and are great at understanding others.
People Who Cross Their Legs Live In Their Heads
YouTube/Lady Life Hacks
If you find yourself crossing your legs and not moving them, it’s likely that you have a big imagination. You’re someone who often gets lost in your daydreams and is great at storytelling.
Some common traits with this sitting position include empathy, good at making eye contact, and great listening skills. Also, you know yourself very well.
This next sitting style is a little bit flirty.
Be A Little Flirty In The Sidesaddle Position
Ussama Azam/Unsplash
Someone who sits with their knees to the side is in the sidesaddle position. This can be interpreted as being delicate, caring, or sweet.
The sidesaddle is also a bit flirtatious and can send signals to another person that you’re interested in them. Sitting with your knees and chest pointed out towards your partner signals this interest even further.
The Truth About Folding Your Hands In Your Lap
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One of the easiest ways to decode someone’s personality is to check if they fold their hands in their lap while they sit. We already discussed clasped hands, but someone who folds their hands together in their lap regularly tends to be calm, kind, and peaceful.
These people are pretty introverted and love their alone time, but are also very passionate about the world and those who live on it. They may not say much, but when they speak be sure to listen.
The Benefits Of Sitting With Straight Legs
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Smart, rational, punctual, neat, and orderly are all ways to describe someone who sits with their legs straight and feet flat on the floor.
While these people tend to be more reserved, they love to talk openly and honestly about themselves when given the chance. They’re also the best person to go to in a crisis because they know how to remain calm.
HealthyGem
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Members of the Rastafari religion and political movement have for decades been persecuted and imprisoned for their ritualistic use of marijuana.
However, the tiny islands of Antigua and Barbuda recently became one of the first Caribbean nations to grant Rastafari official sacramental authorization to grow and smoke the herb that they deem sacred.
Antigua and Barbuda Prime Minister Gaston Browne told The Associated Press in an interview that his government took this step to try to end the persecution and bring respect to the Rastafari faith.
Rastafari elsewhere are pushing for similar religious protections. Experts and stakeholders think the Antigua and Barbuda law could give a boost to these efforts worldwide at a time when public opinion and policy are continuing to shift in favor of medical and recreational marijuana use.
Here is a quick look at the faith’s beliefs and history:
ORIGINS
The Rastafari faith is rooted in 1930s Jamaica, growing as a response by Black people to white colonial oppression. The beliefs are a melding of Old Testament teachings and a desire to return to Africa. Its message was spread across the world in the 1970s by Jamaican music icons Bob Marley and Peter Tosh — two of the faith’s most famous exponents.
A Rastafari’s personal relationship with “Jah,” or God, is considered central to the faith.
SACRAMENTAL MARIJUANA
Rastafari followers believe the use of marijuana is directed in biblical passages and that the “holy herb” induces a meditative state and brings them closer to the divine. The faithful smoke it as a sacrament in chalice pipes or cigarettes called “spliffs,” add it to plant-based organic stews and place it in fires as a burnt offering.
But adherents, many of them Black, have endured both racial and religious profiling due to their ritualistic use of cannabis.
GANJA
“Ganja,” as marijuana is known in the Caribbean, has a long history in Jamaica, and its arrival predates the Rastafari faith. Indentured servants from India brought the cannabis plant to the island in the 19th century, and it gained popularity as a medicinal herb.
HAILE SELASSIE
ETHIOPIA – JANUARY 01: The Emperor Haile Selassie 1St Of Abyssinia, Around 1930 -1960. (Photo by Keystone-France/Gamma-Keystone via Getty Images)
Most of its many sects worship the late Ethiopian Emperor Haile Selassie. This is rooted in Jamaican Black nationalist leader Marcus Garvey’s 1920s prediction that a “Black king shall be crowned” in Africa, ushering in a “day of deliverance.” When an Ethiopian prince named Ras Tafari, who took the name Haile Selassie I, became emperor in 1930, the descendants of slaves in Jamaica took it as proof that Garvey’s prophecy was being fulfilled.
When Haile Selassie visited Jamaica in 1966, he was greeted by adoring crowds, and some Rastafari insisted miracles and other mystical occurrences took place during his visit to the island.
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Today, many Nigerians are particularly challenged as to how to make ends meet. It is therefore important to think of simple and creative ways to boost your standard of living without spending more. As vegetables are what we need all the time, sourcing them can be quite expensive and time-consuming too.
But you can create your own little garden within the building and have fun too in having handy those fresh veggies you desire. This is all too easy if you have water as we already have enough sunlight here to provide the ideal weather needed for the plants to grow and do well.
Indeed, there are many people that would love to start a vegetable garden but simply don’t have the outdoor space to do it. These days, many people live in apartments and high rises and simply don’t have any outdoor space to work with for gardening. Luckily, gardeners are no longer relegated to building raised beds or starting in-ground gardens, and there are a wide variety of vegetables that are well-suited to container gardening.
Growing vegetables in containers gives you the option of creating a vegetable garden on your balcony or patio, or even indoors near a sunny window.
Just about every vegetable that you could ever want to grow outdoors in a garden can also be grown in a container garden on your balcony, and your vegetables will thrive in containers as well, as long as you provide the proper growing conditions and care, and select a container that is large enough to house the plant comfortably, and allows plenty of space for its roots to expand as it matures.
In this article, we’ll tell you which vegetables are great for growing in pots in a balcony or patio garden setup, go over each vegetables basic growing preferences, highlight the best varieties of each vegetable for container gardening, and finally, we’ll give a few tips and pointers about starting your own balcony vegetable garden.
TOMATOES
Tomatoes are some of the easiest vegetables to grow in containers. As long as you have a location that receives at least five to six hours of sunlight per day, you can grow tomatoes in your balcony container garden with ease. If you have limited space, try growing a dwarf variety, or cherry tomatoes instead of one of the larger tomato varieties. Tomato varieties that are well suited to container gardening include Patio Princess, BushSteak, Sweetheart of the Patio, Tumbler, and Glacier.
Pole beans and bush beans are both well-suited to container gardens. All you need is a spot that gets lots of sunlight, a pot that is at least one foot deep, and a trellis-like structure for the vines to grow on (for climbing varieties), and you can expect to see a good crop of beans that are ready to harvest within just a few short weeks. Good bush bean varieties to grow in containers include Bush Blue Lake, or Contender. For pole beans that are well-suited to containers, try Cherokee Trail of Tears. For green bean varieties that grow well in pots, try out Mascotte Green Beans.
Aside from tomatoes and radishes, peppers are the easiest vegetable to grow in containers, and they are voracious producers as well. You will need to provide a large, deep pot, preferably at least one foot deep for ideal growth. Keep your peppers in full sun and start providing fertilizer when the plant flowers until it is done producing fruit. The best pepper plants for containers are Jalapeno, Yellow Spice Jalapeno, Early Jalapeno, Shishito, Poblano, Bolivian Rainbow, Numex Twilight, Fushimi, and Devil’s Tongue peppers.
Carrots are easy to grow in containers as long as you select the right varieties. You want to pick carrots that are short instead of the standard carrot types, as the standard carrot varieties need more room for their roots to grow. Also, make sure to select a container that is deep enough to support their long taproots. Avoid overwatering and keep foliage dry to avoid issues with mildew. The best carrot varieties for pots are Romeo, Tonda di Parigi, and Little Finger.
Pretty much all varieties of peas are good for container gardening, but dwarf varieties and bush varieties are preferred, especially if you are limited on space for your vegetable garden. Peas enjoy moist soil and cool weather and containers that are six to 12 inches deep depending on the cultivar. If your container is at least one foot in diameter, you can fit four to six pea plants in it comfortably. The best peas for container gardening are Peas-in-a-Pot, Tom Thumb, Snowbird, and Little SnapPea Crunch.
Eggplants are fairly large vegetables, but as long as you provide at least a five-gallon pot that is wide enough to provide plenty of room for each eggplant you grow, they will perform very well in pots on your balcony. Eggplants require six to eight hours of direct sunlight each day and regular fertilization. Eggplant plants require support when they start producing fruit, so make sure to remember to provide stakes or cages to help support the weight of the heavy eggplant fruits. The best varieties of eggplant for container gardening are Fairy Tale, Bambino, Crescent Moon, Hansel, and Gretel.
TIPS FOR GROWING VEGETABLES IN POTS ON YOUR BALCONY
Do not use soil from the ground when growing in containers, as it is typically heavy and may cause drainage issues, and it may contain pests or soil-borne diseases that could hurt your crops. Instead, use potting soil, preferably potting soil that is specifically formulated for vegetables. A top of the line, organic potting soil is ideal, and feel free to mix in some well-rotted compost, or worm castings to increase the organic matter and improve water retention and drainage.
Make sure that your balcony gets plenty of sunlight, as the majority of vegetables and herbs enjoy at least eight hours of sunlight per day. If your balcony or patio area doesn’t get that much sun, you will need to adjust what you are growing in that area. A handful of root vegetables, like carrots and radishes, as well as leafy greens like lettuce, chard, and kale, only need four to six hours of sunlight to thrive. Look for a spot on the porch, deck, or driveway area that does get eight hours of sun for your other vegetables and herbs that thrive in full sun conditions.
Make sure that you have a water source nearby, as vegetables are very thirsty plants and they will need a lot of water during the growing season to develop plenty of fruit for harvests. Having a water source nearby will keep you from having to lug watering cans full of water for long distances to keep your plants hydrated.
Take a look above the location where you are planning on keeping your containers for your vegetable garden and try to avoid placing them under the awning of your balcony or right up against the house. Making sure your plants have access to rainfall can cut a lot of work out of caring for your plants, as you won’t need to manually water them after a heavy rain, as long as they are in a position where they are receiving that rainfall whenever it comes along.
Pick containers that are large enough to support the root systems of the plants that you are wanting to grow and large enough so that the plants have plenty of room to grow to full size without needing to be repotted. Make sure that the containers that you choose have ample drainage. Here is a quick guide to selecting the right size pots for the vegetables and herbs that you want to grow:
One to two gallon containers(for small plants) – Leafy greens like lettuce, kale, chard, collards, and spinach. Other plants that work for one to two gallon containers include grape and cherry tomatoes, kohlrabi, and individual herb plants.
Five to eight gallon containers (for medium plants) – Most brassicas fit into this size container, including broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage, and Brussels sprouts, as well as medium-sized tomato plants, okra, and bush-style cucumber plants.
Eight to ten gallon containers (for large plants) – Most large vegetables will fit into these size containers, including peppers, eggplant, cucumbers, squash, zucchini, tomatillos, large tomatoes, and bush type winter squash varieties.
Ten to fifteen gallon containers (for extra large plants) – These extra large containers will suffice for individual plants of extra large tomatoes, winter squash, pumpkins, and artichokes.
Plant beans with carrots and squash, or pair beans with eggplants.
Plant tomatoes with basil, garlic, and onions.
Pair lettuce with herb plants like basil, rosemary, and thyme.
Plant spinach with chard and onions.
Avoid planting these plants near one another, even in separate containers:
Keep bean plants away from onion and garlic.
Keep carrots away from dill or fennel.
Don’t plant tomatoes near squash or potatoes.
Don’t plant onions near beans or peas.
Starting your own vegetable garden on your balcony or patio space is fun and easy. Growing vegetables in containers can be nearly as prolific as growing them directly in the ground, and container gardening can drastically reduce issues with pests and soil-borne diseases. If you have a balcony or patio with ample space and plenty of sunlight, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t start your own container garden today.
Source: Gardening Channel
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