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Why do ordinary, respectable men visit prostitutes? These interviews with customers at Australian brothels provide a rare insight into how some men see not just sex, but women

Guy, 52, lawyer

I can assure you this is a damn sight cheaper than wining and dining a woman, like men usually do. I would have to spend hours on all the bullshit you have to talk. This is good value. It’s neat and tidy. You walk out the door and you’re free. Physically, emotionally, in every way.

I probably come here about once a fortnight, just a short visit, you know, in and out. I try to see the same woman each time, mainly because I like her. Sandy has a nice personality. I find her attractive and her reactions are good. She satisfies my sexual needs. I reckon I must have been seeing her for about two and a half years. If she moved parlours, I’d follow her.

I think Sandy enjoys the sex we have, because I always treat her well. But even if she wasn’t enjoying it, it wouldn’t put me off – as long as the reactions were OK, as long as she didn’t start eating an apple or reading a book or something. That would be a bit off-putting. Short of that, I’m not bothered.

When I first decided to go to a prostitute, it was pretty traumatic because you’re supposed to just walk in and get on with it. But as long as the female’s responses are right, then that first anxiety is easy to overcome.

I came to brothels all through my marriage, even when I was having an affair. It wasn’t that I wasn’t being satisfied – I was – but males have an urge. Every now and then I have a need, a craving, for a different female.

Sex doesn’t necessarily mean anything to a male. I mean, it might develop into something, but initially it doesn’t mean anything other than sheer excitement. But I don’t think women understand that.

Angelo, 23, computer programmer

Why am I here? I don’t come here for the conversation, that’s for sure. I walk in, pay my $120 and have a bloody good time. No questions asked. I don’t care who I see or what she looks like as long as she isn’t fat or horrible, and doesn’t stink. She can be old, though not much older than, say, 35.

If I want to have anal intercourse, or something a bit different, I can generally have it here. Seriously, women’s bums are cute. I love them, and occasionally I want to screw them. There’s nothing wrong with that, except not many girls will let you. They’ve got hang-ups about it being dirty, which it isn’t, or that it might hurt.

Here, I know that, within reason, there won’t be any problem. That’s the thing about paying money: you’re the boss. The customer is always right.

The other thing about being here is that the sex is better, and that’s a fact. It’s always better with a whore.


The only real problem with being with a whore – and this is a minor one, but I’ll say it – is condoms. They always say you have to wear them. If I have girlfriends who want to use condoms, I say: “No way!” But in these places the girls supply them and it’s the rules.

I’ve got a steady girlfriend at the moment, pretty serious. She’s Greek, so my parents are happy. We’ll probably get married. The only problem is sex. She was a virgin before me and she’s a bit nervous about it and won’t do a lot of things. But then you’d expect that. I would probably be suspicious if she was too eager or knew too much. It’s nice, actually. Deep down, I don’t like the idea of being with used goods.

I don’t get embarrassed about coming here. Never have. My mates know about it; they come too. I don’t tell my girlfriend because it’s different with women. Anyway, it’s none of their business. It’ll be the same when I’m married.


Dominic, 39, builder

In a way, I think this helps my marriage. Sometimes my wife doesn’t want to have sex. It could start an argument. But I come here and that’s it – we don’t have an argument.

Edward, 44, truck driver

I’ve been coming to parlours off and on for the past 20 years. I don’t go to a different girl every time. If I have one I like, I stay with her. I don’t know what it is about the girl I usually see here that attracts me. She’s nothing like my wife. She’s younger and smaller, and she does different things without whingeing. My wife won’t do oral sex. She just reckons: “Yuck!” I can see her point there.

Being with these girls does make you feel pretty good as a bloke, as a lover I suppose. It’s just a good feeling, a good physical sexual feeling. And paying for it doesn’t take any of that away. I suppose I do think of myself as a good lover and I reckon that both of us are getting something out of it, not just me. I presume the women here would think that.

Maybe some of them enjoy being with me, maybe some don’t. I don’t know. I think I’d be able to tell if they didn’t. Although I suppose it’s only a job to them, isn’t it? Could make it hard to tell. I’d hope the one I was with would enjoy it. She said she did. If I knew that she didn’t like it, I wouldn’t come back.


Jack, 70, pensioner

My wife is deceased and I still have some sexual urges, so about once a month I come and see Marnie. She’s a very sweet young lady. I stay for about 20 minutes and spend about $60.

When my wife was alive, that was it for me. There were no other activities. I didn’t look for it.

The sex I have here is fairly ordinary. Nothing kinky – none of the things you read about. I don’t know if Marnie physically enjoys what she does with me. If she enjoys some part of it or a portion of it, then it is more fulfilling for me.


I also like to talk with her a little. Not a lot; I’m aware that my life is very boring to her, but I’m interested in her and I like to hear how things are for her.

Spiro, 36, public servant

When you get to my age and you’ve been engaged two or three times, you realise it’s a waste of time trying to be with women. It’s cheaper this way. With a wife and kids you have to feed, clean and clothe them. It’s not worth it.

If I have a bit of free time, I come here about once a month – that’s all. I have a different one every time, usually for just half an hour, just normal sex, that’s all, nothing different. That means they give me a back rub, they give me oral sex and then they get on top and they have intercourse with me, and I have a good time.

But now it’s getting like the women here think they can order me around, saying they won’t do it without a condom. That was the final thing for me. Well, they’re not my rules and I’m the only one who can protect me. In the end I found one who will take a little bit more money instead of using a condom. They’ve all got their price.

It might sound crazy, but this is really the only place where I feel I can be a man, the way men are supposed to be, without feeling guilty or that I’m a social misfit.

Liam, 26, banking loans officer

I would see a prostitute about once a month, sometimes more, depending on my own social life, which is pretty dull at the best of times.

This may sound horrible, but I consider sex to be a chore. The pleasure for me is more the back rub, because I can’t do that myself. If I’m sexually frustrated, I can masturbate, it’s no problem. But it’s not all that much fun, is it? I mean, that is a chore, so it’s preferable to be with someone else.

As far as sex goes, I don’t feel I’ve ever satisfied a girlfriend of mine, to be honest. I wouldn’t know anyway, I really wouldn’t. I’m not familiar with biology in any sense.

Some of the prostitutes I’ve been with have enjoyed it, though. I think they have. I hope so. I guess the truth is that women frighten me.

Kevin, 43, business manager

I’m not so much into being beaten or whipped or tied up, as wanting the woman to be the person who calls the shots, so to speak. I am in a relationship where we are equals, even sexually, although I’m the one who has to initiate sex. I don’t know why women are like that, and to be honest, it can be a bit of a drag always having to be the one who seduces.

Here, I know she wants it, because she is dictating the terms. I am the one who is submissive and I have to do what the woman wants. The actual woman – what she looks like or who she is – is not important to me.

I come here about twice a month. It’s part of my secret life. I don’t actually want it to be so covert; I’d like to be able to tell people. I’m not ashamed of what I do here, but I know that they wouldn’t see it as I do. My partner would just freak out. It’s funny, because we’ve had conversations about prostitution in which she has spoken passionately about not judging the women or the men. She lectures in women’s studies and I suppose she is philosophically geared to believing the sex industry should be free to operate. When she goes on about it, it’s on the tip of my tongue to say: “I’m glad you feel like that, because I see a prostitute regularly.” Obviously, I stop myself. I’m aware of the double standards we all live with.

Ian, 30, factory worker

In the past six months, I’ve been separated from my missus and I’ve only had sex three times. Women would think, “So what?” But men need it more. I think it’s just part of nature. If you don’t have sex for a while you sort of blow up.


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Health & Lifestyle




Never drink water during these times, no matter how thirsty you are.

Our welfare depends on water, and being healthy requires drinking sufficient of it. Even though you may be really thirsty, there are several situations in which drinking water is not advised. When water is consumed improperly, it can cause a number of health issues, such as stomach discomfort, dehydration, and even kidney damage. We’ll talk about when you shouldn’t drink water in this article.

  1. Just before or Following a Meal:

Water might weaken the stomach acids and digestive enzymes that break down your meal before or right after you eat. This may lead to poor digestion and nutrient absorption, which may cause gas, bloating, and bowel issues. Water should be avoided at least 30 minutes before and after meals, according to experts. This makes it easier for the body to consume and assimilate the nutrients.

  1. When Doing High-intensity Exercises:

Water consumption during intense exercise might cause cramping, nausea, and exhaustion. This is because during vigorous exercise, your body sends blood flow to your muscles, and drinking too much water might cause your body’s electrolyte balance to change. It’s recommended to take small sips of water before and after exercises and to hold off on drinking more until your body has cooled down.

  1. When Your Thirst Is Too Great:

Your body can easily absorb too much water in a short amount of time when you are severely dehydrated and exceedingly thirsty. Electrolyte abnormalities brought on by this may result in seizures and brain enlargement. It is preferable to drink water slowly rather than guzzle it down all at once if you are severely dehydrated.

  1. In The Evening:

Drinking a lot of water in the evening can interfere with your sleep cycles and result in repeated bathroom visits, which can prevent you from getting enough sleep. Two hours before going to bed, it’s recommended to minimise your water intake.

In conclusion, water is vital to our health and should be regularly drank. However, as was already said, drinking water at the improper times might result in a number of health-related issues. So it’s important to be careful about when and how much water you drink. Remember that staying hydrated is important, but it’s also crucial to consider any hazards associated with insufficient water consumption.

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Health & Lifestyle




An Air Transat plane arrives at Marseille Provence Airport... / SOPA Images/GettyImages

There are rules in every society. Rules also apply while traveling by airplane. Do well not break any of these rules when you are traveling.


Three rules you must never break while traveling on an airplane. Airline travel should be an easy experience, but there are so many ways that things can quickly go left. One is due to those unruly travelers who seem to forget there are other passengers on the train. Just as within every other aspect of society, there are airplane etiquette rules that must be followed. While no one teaches these ways to be a nice travel mate, take a moment to familiarize yourself with these rules so you don’t become “that” guy or girl.

Asking someone to switch seats

You may think it is not much of an issue to ask someone to switch seats. You’re all on the same plane and will get to the destination at the same time, regardless of where you’re sitting. However, it’s a simple act of selfishness that you can avoid. Do not inconvenience someone by asking them to change seats just so you can sit beside a friend or a loved one. Even if you are in the same row, don’t think you can get someone to give you the window seat just because you’re being nice. No, you’re being rude. Now sit in the seat you paid to use.

Using both armrests

This rule is for those who sit in the middle aisle seats. Don’t be that person who attempts to take both armrests. Yes, it may seem like a normal idea that the person in the middle should get two armrests, widely because this may be the least-desirable seat.

But bullying your way to both armrests isn’t the best way to go. Instead, try asking your aisle mates if they don’t mind. That will go a long way in making the flight more enjoyable for everyone involved.

Taking off your shoes and socks

This is perhaps the worst offense of them all. When flying, do not – repeat – do not take off your shoes and socks. Yes, everyone wants to be comfortable. If you’re wearing sandals or slides, it makes sense to slip them off with ease, but make sure you do the proper hygiene before the flight to ensure that all bodily odors are contained.

Close-up view of sweaty socks after workout over a pair of worn-out dirty shoes.

It is beyond reprehensible to be barefoot on a flight. Some airlines even look at that transgression as enough reason to remove you from the flight entirely. Do not risk it. Keep your shoes and socks on at all times.

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Health & Lifestyle




A Dream About Someone Unexpected Might Not Mean What You Think It Does

Have you thought about your dreams and what they mean? When the work day and post-dinner dishes are done, all you want to do is fall into bed for your eight hours of beauty rest so you can feel refreshed and ready to take on the next day. But as you awake from your deep slumber, you’re suddenly overcome with questions because you dreamt of someone you didn’t expect to make an appearance in your dreams.

It’s straightforward enough when your significant other or best friend makes a cameo in your REM cycle, but it can be a whole lot more puzzling when the star, or even a supporting character, in your dream, is someone you rarely think about during waking hours.

Before attempting to understand why you might dream about someone, it’s important to consider what exactly a dream is first. “A study done in Germany found that a dream is the equivalent of a data dump between the hippocampus (your brain’s browser) and the neocortex (the memory). So, dreams are the hippocampus clearing the browser for the day, prepping your brain for the next day,” says Christina Jeffrey, LMHC, a licensed mental health counselor and chief reputation officer at Humantold, a New York-based psychotherapy service. “Understood through a more traditional psychotherapy lens, a dream is a conversation between your conscious and unconscious minds—an opportunity to explore fears and the forbidden.”


So, what does it mean when someone shows up in this so-called mind conversation? “On some level—maybe consciously, maybe subconsciously—your mind is focused on a person, and your brain is dumping that image as you sleep,” explains Jeffrey.

Often, this happens when there are unresolved emotions or dialogues that need to be explored; if you’re unable to do this when you’re awake, the dream state will step in to help you express yourself, resolve conflict, or release emotional baggage. “But ultimately, I believe that dreams are about what we make of them, the meaning we assign to them, and the attendant feelings that arise along with that meaning,” Jeffrey adds.

If you’ve ever wondered why you keep dreaming about someone you haven’t spoken to since middle school or a celebrity crush you will probably only ever meet in your dreams—although one can dream (pun intended), keep reading. Ahead, dream experts explain how the people you engage with on a daily basis can influence your mind during non-waking hours and what it means, exactly, when you dream about a crush, your ex, or, hey, even a total stranger.

How can the people you interact with influence your dreams?

If you’ve ever had individuals you’ve seen or thought about in waking hours pop up in your dreams, you’re not alone. Oh, and—get this—you don’t even need to know a person for them to live rent-free in your dreamland. “What you witness or ingest by way of media or interactions with others can show up in your sleep… particularly when it is vivid or one of the last things we see in the day,” Jeffrey notes. So, if you watch The Last of Us before bed, don’t be surprised if Pedro Pascal co-stars in your dream that night (ah, what a dream that would be!).

To keep your dreams pure and unaffected by outside media, Jeffrey suggests setting healthy sleep boundaries for yourself—turning off screens an hour before bed, using discretion with what you view or read, and establishing a regular bedtime—to ensure that you’re getting the best quality Zzz’s possible.

The tone of what you do can also heavily impact the tone of your dreams. “Activities that are relaxing and therapeutic like yoga, journaling, or spending time with loved ones can bode for a peaceful sleep, as they encourage stillness. These dreams can be vivid and easy to remember because we are in a relaxed state before bed,” says Nicole Bowman, a certified dream analyst and Keen advisor. “Whereas, when we go to bed in a chaotic state, our dreams may be disjointed and difficult to recall, or we may not be able to sleep at all.”

How do you know when it’s significant that you’ve dreamt about someone and when it means nothing?

It’s no secret that of the many dreams you may have throughout the night, you’ll typically only remember one or two, if any. As Bowman points out, “Significant dreams are the ones you can’t forget—the ones you remember in great detail even after years pass.”

But beyond that, it really goes back to what you believe and feel is significant. “This is one of those ways dreamwork often shows up in therapy: a client has a dream that leaves them feeling distress or confusion in such a way they need help unpacking the feeling,” says Jeffrey. “We can find out whether a dream is significant or not when we are deciphering meaning by exploring and unpacking our feelings around the event or image.” So, even if at the end of the day, you decide the dream means nothing, you’re still processing the feelings that surround it.

What does it mean when you dream about a crush?

Your dream about a crush can mean different things depending on the context of the dream. Simply put, it “could mean they have made an impression [or] struck an emotional cord,” says Leslie Ellis, PhD, a psychotherapist specializing in dreamwork.

But in general, if you’re in this dream together—say, on a date—these dreams are “giving you a dress rehearsal, so to speak, by allowing you to live out a possibility with them, so you can be fully prepared should that opportunity arise,” explains certified dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg.

Additionally, these dreams could help you navigate the deep feelings you have towards your crush and walk you through how to relate to them, Loewenberg adds.

If, for example, you dream of something terrible happening to your crush or your crush being depicted as a threat in some way, i.e. they’re attacking you, your brain could be preparing your conscious self for your crush not reciprocating your feelings, says Loewenberg. This could also be connected to fears that your crush won’t feel the same way.

What does it mean when you dream about an ex?

Dreaming about an ex can signify any number of things, depending on your specific circumstances, but it can often mean that you have unfinished business. “Sometimes, the dream is about getting the closure you did not receive [in waking life]. If they were emotionally immature or dishonest, the dream may offer a resolution that they couldn’t provide,” Bowman explains.


It’s also possible, she says, that an ex may appear in your dream because they’re thinking of you, whether because they want you back or are simply reminiscing on your relationship. But, if you’re thinking about sending a “Noticed you were trying to reach me telekinetically” text the next day, you should probably just let sleeping dogs lie. They’re your ex for a reason—best to keep it that way.

What does it mean when you dream about someone you’re dating?

Similarly, this can mean different things depending on your situation and the nature of your relationship. “If the relationship is relatively new, the dream may reflect the hope and optimism you feel for the union, but it may also touch on your fears and insecurities about dating,” says Bowman. “Alternatively, if you are having disagreements with a long-term partner, the dream may be a way of releasing frustration and pointing out what you need to address with them in waking moments.”

It could also just be, as Jeffrey puts it, a brain dump. “They are on your mind, and you probably see them regularly,” she says. “So, your brain is getting rid of those images that aren’t significant enough to become memories.”

What does it mean when you dream about having sex with someone?

In dreamland, sex is often about intimacy and wanting to feel a connection, rather than the act itself. Consequently, dreaming about having sex with someone tends to happen when feeling alone, isolated, or in the process of starting anew. “For example, it is very common to have sexual dreams when you are moving to a new place, entering a new job, or feeling distant from those you love,” Bowman explains. “Physical contact is actually a metaphor for the spiritual and emotional connection we desire. It is a sign to open up, try new things, and let the good stuff in.”

Additionally, sex dreams may be prompted by hormonal changes. “Depending on where a woman is in her cycle, hormones can affect our thinking, so why not our dreams?” poses Jeffrey. “It could also mean you’re really attracted to someone, and your mind is playing with the idea. So, the dream means what you think it means.”

What does it mean when you dream about cheating on your partner or your partner cheating on you?

Jeffrey believes that both of these dream scenarios are two sides of the same coin. “Cheating is often a response to dissatisfaction, so possibly your dream is revealing either your dissatisfaction or your insecurity about your partner’s dissatisfaction,” she says. Rather than take these dreams at face value, take a sec to unpack the feelings that arise both in the dream and from the dream. Were you cool as a cuc while sleeping and are now suddenly racked with guilt? Journaling about your dream and the emotions it elicits can help you figure out what it means.

On that note… a dream about cheating could also signify a lack of trust in your partner or questions about their devotion and loyalty to you, which could very well stem from your own insecurities or past experiences. For instance, if your last partner cheated on you, you may have a heightened fear that this will happen again, even if your current S.O. has given you zero reasons to worry.

And of course, practically speaking, if you are actually cheating on your partner or think they may be cheating on you, your brain is simply digesting the day’s images.

What does it mean when you dream about someone who’s no longer in your life?

“There are times when we wonder about the people who left our lives: Where do they live? What are they doing? Are they happy?” Bowman explains. “And these dreams can be the answer to those questions because they give us a snapshot of the person we once knew and insight on how their life is going.” The very nature of wondering about these people can mean that we miss them, but it could also be a reminder of an experience you had with the person or even a quality they possessed.

Loewenberg shares that dreams are symbolic of the self, so if you’re dreaming about someone who seems rather random (ahem, your ex from high school) then it’s likely that person is representing some part of you. So ask yourself: What aspects of this person’s personality are you currently resonating with?

What does it mean when you dream about someone you know dying?

First and foremost, it’s important to remember that dreams are the subconscious mind’s way of speaking to you through a symbolic language, notes Loewenberg. In other words, “you don’t want to look at your dreams literally [because] number one, you’re not going to get the message, and number two, you’re going to freak yourself out,” she adds.

That being said, death in a dream is often a metaphor for the end of something, says Ellis. “A person dying in your dream can mean the end of some aspect of your relationship to them,” she notes.

Death can also symbolize a shift in the relationship, says Loewenberg. Is this person moving? Are they getting married? Are they changing in some way? Death is “how the subconscious is trying to help you understand the change, understand the finality of what’s going on, so you can let go of what is no longer viable in yourself, or within the relationship, so you can grow from it,” she explains.

What does it mean when you dream about someone who’s no longer alive?

To Jeffrey, dreams of the deceased are ultimately about “missing that person, missing what they brought into your life, or wishing they were still around,” but Bowman offers a more spiritual interpretation. “This is confirmation that you have help and assistance in the spirit world,” she says. “The deceased may appear when we feel alone, doubtful, or need some extra love, and their presence signifies that an unseen force is constantly supporting and guiding us.”

What does it mean when you dream about someone you’ve never actually met?

There’s an old belief that you can only dream about people you know, but that’s untrue. Not only can people you’ve never met appear in your dreams, but it’s often not as innocuous as it may seem. “When we dream about people we’ve never met, they could be a placeholder for someone we do not want to see, for whatever reason,” Jeffrey notes. But these strangers could also be a manifestation of a part of ourselves that’s not yet known or familiar.

That said, if you find yourself dreaming about Beyoncé, it’s probably not because you’re secretly a world-class singer, but rather because you listened to “CUFF IT” one too many times (or are unconsciously more upset than you think for not scoring Renaissance World Tour tickets, sigh).

What does it mean when you dream about someone repeatedly?

Does your brain’s bedtime show feature a recurring character? This is your subconscious signaling you to pay attention, explains Ellis. “This is the dream’s equivalent of a bold yellow highlighter pen.”


If you’re dreaming about someone close to you or someone you engage with on a daily basis, there’s likely a situation going on between you two that your subconscious is trying to help you navigate, adds Loewenberg. So, ask yourself: What’s the issue? Is there some sort of disagreement between you two? Or, is this person going through something and you’re trying to figure out how to help them through it?

“Usually the context of the dream will give you more clues,” notes Loewenberg. “Do you keep fighting with this person in the dream, for example, even though in real life everything’s fine?” Well then, ask yourself: Is there something you’re angry about in regards to this person or your relationship with them?”

What does it mean when someone dreams about you?

Who you dream about says more about you and your thoughts than it does about the other person, says Ellis. So, “when someone dreams about you, there is something about you that is also an aspect of their [personhood] or life,” she explains. “Or, there’s something they may need to come to terms with that has some relation to the way you are in the world.” For example, let’s say this person is trying to navigate a work conflict, and the other day you were discussing how you resolved a similar issue at your job. In this case, the person who’s dreaming about you may be replaying your script through their unconscious mind to find an IRL solution for their situation.

At the same time, if this person is a close friend, family member, or spouse, there may be some concern this person has about you, or you may be going through something that’s causing you to be on their mind, says Loewenberg.

Is it true that if you dream about someone, it means they’re dreaming about you?

Short answer: Probably not.

Again, dreams say more about you than they do about the person you’re dreaming about. “My tagline is, ‘Your dreams are messages from you to you, about you, in order to improve you,’” says Loewenberg. So, “if you’re dreaming about [someone], it’s not likely they’re dreaming about you as well.”

As dreams are all about the self—your feelings and behaviors—if you’re dreaming about a specific person in your life, then it’s likely there’s some aspect of them that is currently at work in your life, Loewenberg explains. Perhaps you both share a behavioral trait that is currently being activated. As a result, the person you’re dreaming about may simply be personifying that part of your personality, so you can better understand why you’re feeling or acting the way you are, Loewenberg adds. Say your mom makes an appearance in your dreams, it’s probably not because you have a starring role in her REM cycle, too. Rather, like Mom, you find yourself anxiously cleaning your apartment at 1 a.m. (just me?).

But while it’s generally untrue that dreaming about someone means they’re simultaneously dreaming about you, there have been cases where people who sleep close together have overlapping or similar dreams, says Ellis, “as if they have entered the same dreamscape together.” It’s true: The mind works in mysterious ways, and some things just can’t be explained.

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